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Healthyass Blueberry Pancake


One time I was like, “Wouldn’t it be great if there was a sweet counterpart to the savory omelet?” I ruminated on it for days minutes and then realized that’s pretty much what we here in the grand US of A call a pancake. Perhaps you’re curious about the singularity of the cake in question. Who eats just one pancake anyway? You will, sassypants. I suppose you could split the batter into two or three babycakes, but I prefer one fat monster roughly the size of a large dinner plate, slathered in peanut butter, downed with coffee. Tomato, tomahto… healthyass pancake.


Banana Oatmeal Cream Pies


I don’t know when or why or why I remember, but one time my mom said something to someone along the lines of: “With Katie, it’s what you see is what you get.” And she’s right. I can’t disguise my emotions (or lack thereof) to save my life (or a relationship). I don’t know (or care?) enough about makeup to convince you I look better than I do. I am at all times covered in cat hair and do not brush my own. It’s all laid out there, no surprises. These cookies, though? These peanut butter buttercream-stuffed cookie sandwiches are some deceitful little mothers… Vegan, gluten-free and–BY GOD–full of oats. (Yeah, I said “butter butter.”)


PB Chocolate Smoothie


I’ve been up since 4 hustling like a boss so I went to extreme measures to consume coffee. You see, my French press cracked and was spewing precious caffeine all over the counter, apparently unaware that I had just filled it with my last remaining coffee grounds. (The nerve.) So in an act that was neither dangerous nor extreme (eyeroll), I wrapped my hands around the soon-to-shatter glass to retain the coffee and then quickly poured as much as I could into my mug. Naturally. I only took a few sips before realizing I might be drinking glass shards and that’s probably bad. So in one final desperate attempt to get a morning buzz, I strained the rest of the coffee through a paper towel into another mug. Totally normal. Have we earned a smoothie yet? Yes.

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Quinoa-Cheddar Crust


Love is adopting your significant other’s dietary restrictions as if it were your own small intestine at stake. My boyfriend has decided he’s “gluten-minimal” which is an imaginary designation somewhere between gluten-free and gimme-that-bread. I don’t even try to argue with him anymore so I made this quiche with a funky, unexpected, flourless but flavorful crust. And then I ate a sandwich.


Avocado Bread


I worry about recipes that inspire me to purchase expensive produce and then let it go bad. (Here’s looking at you, banana bread.) At the same time, I suppose it’s reassuring to know that if ever we are careless with our over-priced perishables, there’s a kinder fate for them than the trashcan. (And at a dollar a pop, avocados have no business in the trash.) So with three avocados on my counter approaching the end of their days, I set out on a Sunday morning food-saving experiment.

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I used to write a blog about me, but now I’m doing this. Thanks for supporting the old venture’s four-year journey. It felt like time…