I bought expensive makeup for the first time today. Send help. It went something like this: “Hi I need LOTS of help. I need makeup. All the makeup. I mean, I have some makeup but I think it’s probably not the right kind. It’s from CVS. I wear mascara and chapstick. I need, I guess, like real makeup. But I’m also a hot yoga teacher so I don’t really wear makeup and I when I do I just wash it off to teach but I’m almost 30 and I feel like I should not get carded at R-rated movies anymore, you know? But I don’t want to look like I have any makeup on at all. Do you have something like that? Cruelty-free, please.”
God bless the poor sales girl that got my sorry ass dropped in her lap this afternoon. Lots of samples, lots of questions and a hundred-and-frigging-twenty-dollars later, I left with what I’m told is enough makeup to make me look like I’m not wearing any makeup at all for a solid year. Ca-ching. Both my boyfriend and my roommate reacted with a: “Hey, your face looks good.” So let’s celebrate with stir fry on the cheap.