Happy VALENTINE CATURDAY. Ralph, Weaz and Tilly wanted to know if you would be their valentines. They promise to send you flowers if you say yes. (They actually did send me flowers at work yesterday with a little help from Nick, I suppose.)
Last night I got the funniest text of all time from my almost-brother-in-law (sister’s fiance) quoting a ridiculous statement my sister made over drinks. To spare her, I’m not going to quote it in full here but the general sentiment is: “Cats are better than children.” Touche.
So that’s the number one reason cats are ruining your chances of having a family. In honor of Valentine’s Day, here are 3 reasons cats are ruining your chances of love.
- People are allergic to them. Got a cat? Congratulations! You just knocked out 15-30% of the dating pool because that’s how many people can’t even enter your house without breaking out in hives.
People are scared of them. In one survey, approximately 5% of respondents admitted that they are afraid of cats. Based on my own independent research, I would say this is closer to 25%. Personally, I have watched my cats bring down two grown men, instilling a lifetime of fear. Cool so now let’s say half the dating pool is eliminated because they are allergic to or afraid of your cat.
People don’t mind if you like cats but don’t want to know if you have any. Wired crunched a bunch of data about online dating profiles and found that sayings “cats” versus “my cats” will land you more dates. I’m supremely offended by this.
So there you go. You now have about 25% of the population to work with. Good luck and god speed.