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When Enough is Enough

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I was on a rampage yesterday.

I only live two miles from Uptown where I work but on any given evening it will usually take me 45 minutes to get home. The logical part of me knows this is easy as far as most commutes go. Most people deal with this and much much worse. But for me there is something so maddening about being so close and yet so stuck, about knowing I could run the distance twice in the amount of time I’m sitting in my car at rush hour watching the last precious rays of winter light disappear.

I have moments of clear calm logic like, “Yes, just sit here and look at these lovely lights and listen to this NPR and just soak it in. This is fine.” And then there are moments like last night when a switch flips and I’m like the Hulk raging out and pulling a very illegal U-turn in the middle of the street followed by a 4-point turn to get myself situated in the other direction away from what appeared to be construction traffic.

It was not my finest moment. When I did finally make it home I walked straight across the street to Okra Yoga for day 4 of 25 Days of Yoga. The theme of the class, god help me, was santosha–contentment.

“With each breath you’re responsible for deciding when enough is enough,” said the teacher. I just laughed and decided: enough with the anger.

Enough goes two ways. There’s the enough of abundance (my cup runneth over and I’m grateful!) and the enough of excess (I drank too much from my overrunning cup and I’m hungover!).

The enough of abundance is steeped in gratitude that creates a contentment of fullness, not lack. I have enough.

The enough of excess is a sometimes uncomfortable realization that signals something’s gotta give. I have too much.

My road rage last night was an example of me having way too much–anger, privilege, whatever–to realize enough was enough. Contentment (with a sense of fullness not a sense of settling) is a better choice.

I just thought that was a nice little take-home message in this the season of excess.

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PS – Tilly the two-legged cat is now on Instagram spreading the good word about special needs pets and all they have to offer the world. Follow tillytwolegs!

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9 Comments

  1. TaMo TaMo

    In this world, there is always someone that will have more than the next. Success and determination should not be looked at as a strike against you. It is because of this determination that you are able to help cats, others less fortunate, etc. People that are at a certain level should not be regarded as “privileged” and seen in a negative light. It is how you use the “privilege” that measure you as a person.

  2. Traffic drives me crazy, so I don’t blame you for initially feeling that way. Could you ride a bike to work? Not that it’d be comfortable in the winter, but it seems like it’d be faster!

    • Katie Katie

      Yeah! I was bike commuting towards the end of the summer and I really like it. I’m not comfortable riding right now after my friend was hit by a car. And it’s so dark when I leave work and I don’t have a light yet.

  3. Jen Jen

    Why not walk or bike to work?

    • Katie Katie

      I’m anti-bike right now after my friend was hit by a car. Just kind of wary of it. And I’m not comfortable riding in the dark and it’s dark when I leave the office. The walk isn’t impossible but it’s just not a desirable route to being (ie also not particularly safe after dark).

  4. Mary Mary

    Could you take the bus? I used to take the bus uptown to work (now I work from home) and I loved using the 25 min ride time to decompress and read (and if there was traffic, I wasn’t the one having to deal with it!). It is the only thing I miss about working in an office (I realize that makes me sound a bit nutty) 🙂

    • Katie Katie

      I’ve considered it! I think I might try it this winter since I may be ready to get back on the bike once the weather is nicer. I liked that and it was faster…

  5. I’m surprised you don’t walk!

    • Katie Katie

      Yeah I’ve thought about it. I was bike commuting in the summer but after seeing so many people get hit I’m a little wary to get back on. And it gets dark so early and I’m not comfortable riding in the dark. When it comes to walking… It’s just really not a desirable two miles to walk–meaning it’s not particularly safe after work in the dark. I think I may go with the bus this winter though…

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