I was on a rampage yesterday.
I only live two miles from Uptown where I work but on any given evening it will usually take me 45 minutes to get home. The logical part of me knows this is easy as far as most commutes go. Most people deal with this and much much worse. But for me there is something so maddening about being so close and yet so stuck, about knowing I could run the distance twice in the amount of time I’m sitting in my car at rush hour watching the last precious rays of winter light disappear.
I have moments of clear calm logic like, “Yes, just sit here and look at these lovely lights and listen to this NPR and just soak it in. This is fine.” And then there are moments like last night when a switch flips and I’m like the Hulk raging out and pulling a very illegal U-turn in the middle of the street followed by a 4-point turn to get myself situated in the other direction away from what appeared to be construction traffic.
It was not my finest moment. When I did finally make it home I walked straight across the street to Okra Yoga for day 4 of 25 Days of Yoga. The theme of the class, god help me, was santosha–contentment.
“With each breath you’re responsible for deciding when enough is enough,” said the teacher. I just laughed and decided: enough with the anger.
Enough goes two ways. There’s the enough of abundance (my cup runneth over and I’m grateful!) and the enough of excess (I drank too much from my overrunning cup and I’m hungover!).
The enough of abundance is steeped in gratitude that creates a contentment of fullness, not lack. I have enough.
The enough of excess is a sometimes uncomfortable realization that signals something’s gotta give. I have too much.
My road rage last night was an example of me having way too much–anger, privilege, whatever–to realize enough was enough. Contentment (with a sense of fullness not a sense of settling) is a better choice.
I just thought that was a nice little take-home message in this the season of excess.
PS – Tilly the two-legged cat is now on Instagram spreading the good word about special needs pets and all they have to offer the world. Follow tillytwolegs!