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So Be Here.

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For me, day 1 of 25 Days of Yoga was a 60-minute hot vinyasa flow taught by the one and only Jen Decurtins. If you don’t know her, Jen is this enigmatic force of calm and strength and cool. She walked away from a job in advertising to pursue a career in fitness a few years ago and in the process has picked up a few book deals along the way. No big deal. Girls (and probably guys) want to be her. Guys (and probably girls) want to be with her. As I doubt my own decisions about current life directions, part of me would sometimes love to hate her but she’s simply not unlikeable. She’s just one of those. (Also have you seen her new puppy?)

So when Jen accepted a new role at a new studio that a friend of ours bought out, and I was looking for a new space to explore my old practice… I followed her over for a change of scenery. And I do not regret it.

There’s loads of good yoga in Charlotte. I myself have packages at three different studios and I continue to bounce around, but right now Charlotte Yoga is all light and good and fresh, and I want to be that so I want to be there. Yesterday, as we were moving through some particularly grueling part of the flow that I don’t remember, Jen reminded me (the class) of just that.

“You chose to be here so be here.”

Simple as that. All of the sudden, as always, a yoga cue resonated and echoed off of everything in my life: you chose this city, you chose this job, you chose this life… so be here.

Cue Taylor Swift… “Let me remind you: This is what you wanted.”

Cue my mom… “Bloom where you’re planted.”

The fact is I don’t really know what I want or where I want to be planted. But I do know I waste a lot of time running all over the world in my mind trying to figure it out. So I suppose, perhaps, I should try on just being here where I am for a while because that is, after all, where I chose to be.

Today was a good day of being here. I went to boot camp, which is always awesome. Went to work where I’m pulling together my year-end report, which I find kind of fun and reaffirming. I got a special delivery at the office from Nourish, a local vegan meal service that’s now delivering statewide (heeeeeeey). I’m hoarding that cinnamon bun baked oatmeal above for breakfast tomorrow, but I ate the Indian thali tonight for dinner.

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It is my sincere hope that a full brick and mortar restaurant is in the business plan for Nourish because the food is insane and also because Charlotte needs new and different things like that.

I think a lot of my discontent here is just a general sense of out-of-place-ness and (as stupid as it sounds) food is a big part of belonging for me. Granted, I do live next door to Charlotte’s best vegetarian restaurant, picked up a coconut milk latte at a vegan restaurant while running errands this afternoon, and received this glorious vegan delivery so… Maybe I should just try being here a little bit, huh?

Day 2 practice was tonight back at Charlotte Yoga with my friend Ryan who I’m convinced knows more about human anatomy than any doctor. He opened class with a line that stuck with me: “Move your body like you’re grateful for it.”

Isn’t that cool? After almost a year of barely practicing and sitting at a desk all day, I’ve been feeling shitty–like a heavy clunky clumsy Tin Man. Earlier today, after TWO YEARS of tight nagging discomfort, my left hip finally finally popped. It was as if one day recommitted to respecting my body flipped a switch that was like: Here you go you can feel good again.

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I really feel like a new person. So tonight in class I felt like I really tapped back into that smooth, nimble lightness that comes with the return to yoga.

And other things are clicking (Hip click, get it? Pun intended?) too. I had a very clear dream about someone I’m supposed to apologize to and how I’m supposed to do it. And today I heard from a different friend I also fell away from but didn’t want to. I don’t know. Shit’s getting weird over here.

I am so grateful.

6 Comments

  1. This was exactly what I needed to read! Thank you.

  2. Nick Nick

    #blessed

  3. Bev Bev

    “I waste a lot of time in my mind running all over the world”. You have to read 10% Happier by Dan Harris. It’s about just that and more. Maybe put it on your Christmas list.

  4. Lyndsay Lyndsay

    Love the post. I think everyone needs to reflect a little bit about “just being here”…you chose to be here, so be here…Jen really is the best

    Thank you for opening up and sharing.

  5. Love this post! I’ve not looked at the blogs I follow in months but I felt the urge today. I guess I now know why. I needed to read this.

  6. Rajul Rajul

    My fave post on honeystuck <3

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