Saturday was a low point in my aging process. Let’s just say by 8:15pm I had already called the police to report a “noise violation” and (unrelated to the other noise violation) rammed my broom against the ceiling in a battle against my upstairs neighbor’s decision to wear heels 24 hours a day. (SIT DOWN, GIRL. SIT. DOWN.) By 8:30 I was asleep.
I am 87 years old and the worst.
Nick and I have fallen into a pretty wild Friday night routine that involves going to dinner at a reasonable hour, buying like six bags of assorted candy, and then watching Animal Planet until I fall asleep on top of him (usually around 9pm).
After that rowdy evening I kicked off my Saturday morning at 6am (SIX) with a responsible trip to boot camp followed by a necessary oil change. Give me my Grownup Chores Award!
We spent the afternoon at the pumpkin patch with my niece nugget and then got pizza super early before 6 o’clock when there’s no live music. Just the way I like it.
It’s important to point out that at some point during the day I saw a preview for a NEW EPISODE of My Cat From Hell scheduled to air at 8pm that night and I said aloud with great disgust: “Who the hell would be home at 8 on a Saturday to watch My Cat From Hell?”
It should come as no surprise that we got home at 8pm and watched My Cat From Hell.
Our viewing of this important documentary was interrupted by an impromptu street show set up in the alley next to my building that sounded as though someone was playing drums in my bedroom. There was once I time that I would think this was super cool. Instead I called the police. Pass me my dentures.
Shortly thereafter my neighbor started stomping around like a human being who is just, you know, alive on a Saturday night so I gave up on life and went to bed. Here is a picture of me:
I slept for 11 hours (dear god) and emerged to prepare the following things for my week:
- Lentils and quinoa (never gets old)
- Steamed green beans
- Roasted brussel sprouts
- Baked tofu
- Roasted garlic and dill mashed cauliflower
- Vegan spiced caramel apple crisp
I kind of regret telling you how lame I am. Too late now.