Good Caturday morning to you and yours.
The cats are down at Harris Teeter with the rest of American population stocking up on beer at 9 o’clock in the morning because that’s what two days before St. Patrick’s Day is all about.
This is a sacred day for cats everywhere. Patrick, the patron saint of cheap domestic beer, once appeared to Ralphie in a dream dressed in his signature khaki cargo shorts and an “Irish you were naked” t-shirt, and she has worshiped him ever since.
Tilly, being actually Irish, tried to explain to Ralph that this holiday is disdainfully misrepresented in the US, but Ralphie just looked at her with glazed eyes and said, “I am Barack Obama and I approve this holiday.”
Weaz is debuting her billion-dollar startup idea at the bar crawl today–a mobile charging station for the many phone batteries that will be sacrificed in the taking of green beer photos.
Said the young entrepreneur: “There is great demand for more pictures of green beer on Instagram, so much so that smartphone batteries just can’t keep up. The Electric Weaz makes it possible to charge on the go any time, any place. Just place a bag of Cheetos and an unmarked hundred dollar bill near your device and I’ll be there within 7 days to get you back in picture-taking action.”
She’s only got a prototype done so far but it’s looking really good…