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Ginger Almond Smoothie

Screen shot 2014-03-08 at 11.29.58 PM

I finished that Mindy Kahling book. Up until one of those last lists where she talks about all the revenge fantasies she’s had while on the treadmill, I found it to be a cackle-out-loud-in-public kind of book. The revenge fantasies, albeit a wholly accurate representation of what I do when I workout, were unfortunately kinda boring when delivered in writing on paper out of someone else’s head.

And it was, as some of you pointed out, an entire book deal based solely on writing rambling lists. Kind of like Buzzfeed but I won’t offend Mindy like that because Buzzfeed is the worst. (I hate Buzzfeed and everything it represents. Stop. taking. those. quizzes.)

Anyway, in honor of the apparently very lucrative online list (and before I tell you how to make this smoothie), here is a non-comprehensive list of some the restaurants I have opened in my head:

Nacho Mama’s – All nachos all the time (but not yo’ mama’s nachos). Nacho Mama’s abandons the traditional tortilla chip and cheese foundation and makes nachos out of anything–potato chips, pita chips, waffle fries, cookies… Stay with me here. So basically you walk up to a Chipotle-style assembly line, pick your base (traditional tortilla, toasted pita chips, potato chips, whatever) and then run down the line of cheeses, sauces and fresh toppings before it is tossed under the broiler for a golden-brown char. Some ideas… The Greek: toasted pita chips, hummus, olives, feta cheese, tahini sauce, lettuce, tomatoes. The Irish: potato chips, green onions, sharp cheddar cheese. The French: toasted baguette crostini, brie, grilled pears. The Last Call: waffle fries, veggie chili, cheddar cheese. The Pregnant Lady: Oreo cookies, marshmallows, chocolate chips, Swedish fish, topped with ice cream.

Dough – A way better riff on the Marble Slab concept, Dough is a build-your-own bar where you make cookies instead of ice cream. Select your dough base (sugar, peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate, gingerbread, etc.) and then pick from an array of mix-ins (chocolate chips, nuts, marshmallows, etc.) that a teenager in an apron will then dramatically fold into the dough with two metal spatulas. This is where it gets really good: Dough is all vegan so you now have the option of cooking your cookie rare (half-raw gooey mess), medium (your standard perfect cookie), well done (crispy) or RAW. Yes, you can just have the glob of cookie dough. I am a genius. This idea is already patented. Back off.

Fantasties – This is not actually an idea I had but a typo I made when typing fantasies above and I think it would make a nice vegan frozen yogurt bar somewhere in a prominently gay neighborhood.

greenburger – I got an A+ on this restaurant concept in grad school so hold on to your butts… greenburger (no capital letters because it is edgy and new) is a vegetarian fast food burger joint created to rival the likes of McDonald’s and Burger King. We’d have a signature bean-based burger but then also feature new seasonal patties and you can have it on a bun, in a quinoa bowl or on top of a salad. Fresh toppings and cheeses would be sourced locally and our mascot for the kids’ meals would be Broccoli Rob.

Alright alright, here’s the smoothie.

Ginger Almond Smoothie

This is my favorite smoothie from Healthy Home Market in Charlotte but it seems unnecessary to spend so much money on something I can make myself. So here she is in all her homemade glory.

Ingredients

  • 1 frozen banana
  • 2 cups almond milk
  • 3 dates, pitted
  • half-to-one-inch cube of ginger (depending on taste preference)
  • 1/4 cup raw almonds

Instructions

  1. Throw all that business in a blender and puree until smooth. (You’re going to need one hell of a blender to pull that off. I did it in a Vitamix and am positive my old blender would not have been able to handle it.)

14 Comments

  1. Lesley Lesley

    I’m mainly a lurker but wanted to say I love your blog, in my head we’re basically great friends who text each other about Beyonce a lot (as I do with all my real live actual friends), and I can’t wait to go to Nacho Mama’s. Please have The French & The Pregnant Lady waiting for me. There’s a greenburger-esque place in Philadelphia called HipCityVeg if you’re ever up north!

  2. Oh my gosh! I was multitasking when reading your blog entry and as soon as I read the description of Nacho Mama’s I automatically opened another tab and googled it to see where it was…. hahaha.. I went back to re read your previous paragraph and realized it was only a product of your lovely imagination…. I was cracking up. Brilliant idea (I am currently a pregnant lady and I would totally order that!)

    • Ha, you were not alone in doing this…

  3. I read your restaurant ideas before reading the paragraph above first stating that they were your ideas and not real yet… I was quite excited to try the “Last Call” at your nacho bar. Sweet potato waffle fries, please.

  4. If you start a kickstarter for Nacho Mama’s I’ll be sure to contribute. But you’ll also have to open a franchise in Boston.

  5. Oh also, I love Mindy but I hated that book because of the aforementioned lists. Anyone who has ever read my blog will understand the irony here.

  6. Amy Amy

    Please open these restaurants..they all sound great!

  7. Jon Jon

    So, there’s a Nacho Mama’s in Augusta, GA that is hands-down my favorite restaurant in the world. They have Stepdaddy Nachos with mango habanero salsa that makes my toes curl. Local art covers the walls and all is for sale. And the motto is “The only thing fried here are our cooks”. It’s a locally owned gem. http://www.nachomamasaugusta.com/

  8. There’s a Nacho Mama’s in Canton, Baltimore, Maryland that serves margaritas out of hubcaps so… basically the same?

    GREAT LIST!

  9. mmm. looks delicious! I have to ask…. how is the 65$ face cream treating you? You know, after so much expense I have simply been using coconut oil as a cleanser and Grade A Shea butter as a moisturizer. It is total cheap awesomeness!

  10. Lisa Pisacane Lisa Pisacane

    HAHA. I am on my lunch break and skimmed through the first paragraph and started to google where Nacho Mama’s is in Charlotte. Love me some pregnant lady nachos (albeit definitely NOT pregnant) 😀

    • HA. Everyone else is telling me there are Nacho Mamas all over the place, but I bet they don’t have pregnant lady nachos.

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