If you’re anything like me you get your paycheck and then go nuts for like three days. At first it’s for stocking up on responsible but terribly overpriced things like $17 razor blades and $30 toothbrush replacement heads. (By the way, why are we letting them swindle us like this, my fellow Americans? I demand a toothbrush replacement head by the people, for the people that does not cost as much as 10 regular toothbrushes. Also, did you know that razors now come with a 5-blade option. Five blades?? That doesn’t even sound safe.)
Anyway, after spending your hard-earned cash on gold-plated toiletries and such, you start to get a little careless. $5 kombucha here. Three meals out in a row there. High-waisted wide-leg light cotton slit pants from BCBG because it’s 74 degrees outside and spring is surely on her way…
Before you know it it’s the 30th day of the month and you’ve got $9 in your checking account and rice and beans on the stove again. And that, of course, is why you can’t wait to go crazy on pay day. Like always. It’s a vicious cycle kind of like hazing in fraternities except you do it to yourself and it sucks way less because you get to just buy yourself things.
In honor of pay day I made these vegan Pay Day candy bars to celebrate (and spend all that extra cash at the grocery store where I also bought three different kinds of chocolate for no reason at all).
Vegan Pay Day Candy Bars
- 12 medijool dates, pitted
- 1 cup water
- 1/3 cup peanut butter
- 1/4 cup maple syrup
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- 1/3 cup coconut flour
- 2 cups roasted salted peanuts
- Soak dates in water for at least an hour. You can go buy something while you wait.
- Drain excess water and add soaked dates, peanut butter, maple syrup and vanilla to a food processor and process until smooth
- Add coconut flour (I did this part by hand) and stir to form thick dough
- Roll dough into a cookie dough-shaped log, wrap in cling wrap and stick in the freezer for at least an hour. Maybe buy more things.
- Remove log from the freezer and cut into 8-9 equal sections. Roll each section into desired Pay Day-esque candy bar shape.
- Pour peanuts onto a plate and press bars into it to cover in nuts.
If you want to get super fancy you could of course dip these in chocolate and call them Baby Ruths.