I just had an emotional breakdown in World Market because I can’t find a coffee table so I bought some fake Doritos and an overpriced bottle of water and cried all the way home. Today is going well.
Luckily Weaz got a haircut this week and looks like a little velvet raisin so I can only be miserable for so long. Behold:
WHERE DOES ALL THAT SKIN COME FROM?
People seem to think it’s REALLY weird that my cats get haircuts and I think it’s really weird they’ve never heard of cats getting haircuts. People build entire businesses on cat haircuts alone. Ralph and Weaz went to one such establishment on Monday. You see, Ralph got kicked out of the last groomer twice for bad behavior so I sought out a 30-year cat grooming veteran–recommended by my vet, arguably the best in the city–to see if she could work some magic on my ferocious little 12-pound lion.
No such luck. Ralph left looking like this:
What. an. idiot.
STRIKE THREE YOU’RE OUT RALPH. She will never be groomed again. She can look like Colonel Meow for all I care.
I know what you’re thinking: Why don’t you just brush the cat?
And my reaction to that is the same one I have when people ask me if the broken electronic I can’t fix is plugged into the wall. Thaaaaank you for your astute observation. I’ve only been struggling with this for years and never once thought to try the simplest of all solutions. You have solved all of my problems.
No, Ralph won’t let a brush within two feet of her mane and while Weaz loves being brushed, it doesn’t put a stop to her daily hairballs. So yeah, they get haircuts. More frequently than I do. Don’t care.
What about Tilly?
I actually trim Tilly Monster myself but this is only because she doesn’t have arms for attacking.