Baked Goods

Vegan Peanut Butter Blondies

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By about 8 o’clock this morning my day was already done for. On the way out of the car I dropped my lunch bag, which contained a painfully overpriced glass kombucha and my favorite ceramic bowl.

Why would you bring a ceramic bowl to work for lunch, Katie? Thanks for asking… I brought it so I could eat canned soup at my desk like a civilized human. It seemed like such a good idea until it shattered everywhere just like my dreams that this week would go smoothly.

A few hours later I threw like half a gallon of water all over a communal desk full of computers. At a software company.

I’m not done…

Excluding this one time an esthetician ripped off my eye skin instead of my hair I’ve never had a bad brow wax but TODAY… oh today after work I got my eyebrows waxed and half of one is most definitely missing…

And finally, I am currently trying to open a coconut that I thought I could open like a juice box and it turns out that’s not at all how it works and I’m having a meltdown. I was going to feel bad for myself but then this Real Housewife of Beverly Hills couldn’t find the blow torch for her creme brulee and I was like, “You know, it could always be worse.”

Today calls for blondies.

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Entree, Life

Macaroni and Cheese

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I made my first macaroni and cheese this weekend. It was for Easter at my brother’s house and his request was simple: “For the love of god and all that is holy just use real cheese. None of this vegan bullshit.”

Done. I turned to Google and picked the second result for “best macaroni and cheese” which turned out to be from a blog about vegetarians and meat eaters living peacefully together. Perfect. Cheese and noodles are an ideal culinary olive branch.

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Restaurants

BARCocoa at The Ritz

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I’ve been to The Ritz never in my life and then suddenly twice in one week. I’m such a fraud.

Last week was a black tie gala for work hosted by the British Consul. I went with my work BFF who convinced me to wear fake eyelashes for the first time. We found the most hilarious and uncensored woman there and all had a raucous good time.

Tonight was a menu preview at BARCocoa, the hotel’s on-site dessert boutique. I was supposed to be at a baseball game, but when given the choice between sports and macarons I think we all know where I stand. When I tell you this event made my day I mean it made my day.

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Hair

Curly Hair: Let’s Talk About It

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I love having curly hair, but it wasn’t always this way. Growing up I didn’t know I had curly hair and if I did wouldn’t have known what to do with it. Surrounded by friends and family members with straight hair, I just did to mine what they did to theirs: brushed it, blow dried it, over shampooed it… gave it bangs. Today I know these are all terrible atrocities against naturally curly hair, but it took a brave hairdresser suggesting that we let my hair air dry “to see what happens” when I was 13 and about 10 more years of trial and error to get this on lock.

The result of my living in hair denial for so long is a 13-year photographic record of pure horror. If I can save one girl the anguish of these permanent images from which there is no escape, my time here will have been well spent.

Short of filming an in-shower tutorial (which will never happen), here is everything I know about working with curly hair.

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Caturday

Caturday 4.12.14

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I don’t lie about a whole lot of things but when it comes to telling most men how many cats I have, I dance around the subject like Bill Nye in a bow tie–frantically and without skill.

There are three types of cat ladies: (1) those who have no idea how crazy they are, (2) those who know how crazy they are and don’t care, and (3) those who know how crazy they’re perceived and try to argue otherwise. I’m the last one and it’s a fruitless battle, my friends. But I will die trying. (Alone and covered in cat hair.)

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